he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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