Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
