i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize