Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize