One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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