dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize