Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize