we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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