broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
