Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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