You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
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I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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