I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
