I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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