His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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