New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
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I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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