i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
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Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
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Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS