I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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