It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney