They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love