I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream