Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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