areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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