Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
