I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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