do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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