apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize