Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Mom said you looked used
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
