that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
