census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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