Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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