he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize