Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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