We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
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Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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