i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
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I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday