Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
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As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD