just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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