didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
