I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Randomize
