my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
