U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
YAS. BRING CRAB.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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