It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
