I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!