You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.