Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
