He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where is the hickey?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love accidental penises.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize