just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
