No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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