just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Damn victory sex feels great
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
