a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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