Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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