id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner