so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen