i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
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Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
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I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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