I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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