giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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