my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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