I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
